Do You Know How Much It Hurts?
by mellifluous cloud
Summary: This is the sequel to "Not While I'm Around". Fi moves back to Hope Springs with no intention of chasing after Rob, but what will happen when he chases after her? PG-13 for mild language, death.
1. Prologue

TITLE: Do You Know How Much It Hurts?  
AUTHOR: JackPhillipsGirl  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters from So Weird, but I wish I owned Jack. I don't own the song "Love Calling Earth" either - that belongs to Robbie Williams. The only characters I own are Rob, Jennifer, and any minor characters you don't recognize. If anyone cares, my birthday is in two days... just thought I'd mention it...  
A/N: This is the sequel to my story Not While I'm Around, so please read that first if you haven't already. But, if you have, then, enjoy!  
  
  
Prologue  
  
It was my fault. I admit it, when I first met Rob, I thought he was the most gorgeous man I'd ever laid eyes on. After I moved to Seattle, although my interest in the paranormal was still there, it was never as strong as it used to be. The effects of the spell that took away my gift were always present, and it became more and more difficult to piece together the weird things around me.  
  
But it was so obvious.  
  
I ignored the scar on Rob's face, the sunglasses that he always wore, and his unusual questions. I ignored the fact that he was slowly gaining power over me, turning me away from what I once believed in so passionately, making me think murderous thoughts, and causing me to act hateful towards the people I love. It shouldn't have happened. If I wasn't so blinded by my "love" for him, I could have paid attention to what was real, what was right in front of me.  
  
Rob was a demon, and I couldn't see it. The only person who could was my brother Jack - he saw it right from the beginning, but I wouldn't listen to him. He knew that Rob was going to kill me, and he saved my life. Jack died - for me.  
  
I killed him. I killed him with my ignorance and stupidity. If I had just listened to what Jack tried so hard to tell me, he'd still be alive right now. We both would. And we could finally have that month together that we had been waiting for. But we didn't, and now we never can, because I killed my own brother.  
  
I left Seattle. I wanted to get as far away from Rob, wherever he was, masquerading around aimlessly with Jack's life inside of him - the life that Jack never had the chance to live. I moved back to Hope Springs, to stay with Mom, now that it was just the two of us. Even Annie left us to go live with her parents. Mom stopped touring - she said that she had planned to stop this year anyway, but I know it was depression.  
  
"What is it with me, Fi?" she asked me one night. "Why do I have to lose so many people?"  
  
I don't want to think about it any more. I can't push away that guilty feeling, and I can't stop the tears. If I stayed in Seattle, if I chased after Rob, things would only become worse.  
  
The only problem is, what happens when Rob chases after me?


	2. Chapters 1-3

Chapter One  
  
I sat cross-legged on the bed, scribbling away frantically in my diary. I paused for a moment, and flipped back a few pages. If he ever saw this, he'd think I was obsessed. Ever since I moved back to Hope Springs, I had become fixated on Carey Bell. There was something about him that I couldn't help but adore. Like the way he always says the cutest things that just slip out of his mouth. Or the way he'll push away that strand of hair that always seems to fall across his forehead. Or his eyes when they're looking into mine, his smile, and oh God, his laugh...  
  
_Maybe I am obsessed..._  
  
It was weird, though, the way that I had fallen for Carey. I mean, I've known him my entire life - I grew up with him! And I never thought of us as more than friends before I came back home.  
  
I sighed. _We probably never will be more than friends._  
  
There was a knock at my bedroom door and I quickly threw my diary under the bed. "Mom?"  
  
"Nope, just your knight in shining armor." The door opened and Carey stood there with the goofiest grin on his face. _I wish,_ I thought wistfully.  
  
"Hi, Carey," I smiled back. He was so cute. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Just thought I'd drop by for lunch," he explained. "What, aren't you happy to see me?" he teased.  
  
"Hmm, let me think about that," I replied, making an exaggerated show of bringing my finger to my chin.  
  
"Hey!" Carey exclaimed, feigning hurt, and leaped onto my bed, pinning me down. His face was just inches away from mine, and our eyes met for a split second. I gulped - my heart was pounding a million beats a second. He suddenly looked serious, and this was just how I always imagined it: Carey would throw me down onto my bed, and then he'd slowly lean in, and then -  
  
"Lunch is on the table," Mom announced, bursting through the door. "Whoa! What's going on in here?"  
  
Carey jumped up as if I had tried to attack him. "Nothing, we were just playing around," he replied. Of course. _Nothing_ was the only thing that would ever happen between us.  
  
Mom eyed our faces skeptically, then shook her head slightly. "Okay," she said, leaving the room. Carey followed and I sadly watched him retreat. For that split second, it almost seemed like... If only Mom hadn't burst through the door, maybe we would have...  
  
Quickly, I snapped myself back to reality. _I'm being ridiculous._ Carey was just goofing around. But was it so wrong to dream?  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
We sat around the kitchen table, munching on our sandwiches without speaking. I was lost in my thoughts, replaying the Carey-leaps-on-top-of-me moment over and over and over again in my mind. That _look_ on his face with his lips just inches away from mine... damn. Why did Mom have to ruin the moment? Well, not that I knew for sure there would be any moment, but still. I sighed, maybe a bit too loudly.  
  
"Something wrong?" Mom broke the silence.  
  
Yes. "No," I responded quickly.  
  
Mom looked at me questioningly, and I turned away. I didn't want her to see... was it obvious how much I liked Carey? I took a huge bite of my sandwich, when suddenly Carey blurted out, "I'm seeing Jennifer again this afternoon." I tried to restrain myself from choking. _Who's Jennifer?_ I thought angrily. Whoever she was, I already felt a mixture of hatred and envy.  
  
"Really?" Mom said, sounding truly interested. "That's great. She seems like such a sweet girl." How did Mom know this girl? And why didn't I?  
  
"Thanks for introducing her to me," Carey went on. Okay, wait - so Mom set them up? This just wasn't making any sense.  
  
"Uh," I interrupted, and then had to clear my throat. For whatever reason, my mouth was dry. "Who's Jennifer?"  
  
"Carey's new girlfriend," Mom beamed. I felt sick.  
  
"Not _girlfriend_," Carey said quickly. Was he blushing? "We just went on a date, that's all."  
  
"She works with me at Katy's," Mom explained. Oh. For the past month, Mom had been a waitress at Katy's Family Restaurant, to get us a little extra money. I guess that this Jennifer person was also a waitress there, and Mom introduced her to Carey on one of his frequent visits.  
  
"That's actually where we're planning to go today, after the movie," Carey said. "It's Jenny's day off."  
  
_Jenny?_ Now I really was sick.  
  
"Maybe I'll be your waitress," Mom said with an exaggerated wink. Carey just laughed. That sweet, adorable, _perfect_ laugh that always made my heart melt. I closed my eyes tightly. _Stop it,_ I told myself.  
  
"Actually, I better get going to pick her up." My eyes fluttered open to see him standing. "Bye, Mrs. P," Carey said with a quick wave. "See you later, Fi," he added, flashing that cute smile of his. Oh no, here I go again...  
  
"See you," I echoed, watching sadly as he opened the front door and closed it behind him. How stupid was I to believe that the moment we had in my bedroom - now it seemed like centuries ago - actually meant something? How could I think that he'd actually ever like me when he could go for girls like Jennifer? Mom had already left the table to get ready for work, and I slumped down in my seat. I was angry, not with Jennifer or Carey, but with myself - because even though it was hopeless, I still wanted him.  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
I was in my room again, scribbling away in my diary, the one thing that I could always count on to listen to my pathetic problems. Mom had left about fifteen minutes ago to go to Katy's, so the house was empty, and I felt utterly alone. I touched the angel on the chain around my neck. _If Jack was here..._  
  
A tear slid down my cheek at the thought of him. If only my brother was here to comfort me, to protect me - like he always did. I brushed away the tear quickly. I couldn't think about this. With the Carey-Jennifer situation, I was already a mess, and thinking of Jack would only make it worse.  
  
An image of Rob flashed in my mind, and my whole body trembled violently. So much for trying to forget. I pulled my knees up to my chin, rocking back and forth on my bed, sobbing. Life seemed so perfect just a few hours ago, and now I was overcome with misery. I wanted it all to just disappear... I wanted to be happy again.  
  
The phone rang, jolting me back to reality. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down, before picking it up. "Hello?" I said in a hoarse whisper.  
  
"Fi?" Carey? I glanced at my clock - shouldn't he still be out with Jennifer?  
  
"Carey, is that you?" I asked, my voice restoring its normality.  
  
"Yeah," he replied. I could hardly hear him - the background noise was so loud that it practically drowned out his voice.  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"I'm at Katy's," he said. His voice was shaky, and Carey was usually so calm.  
  
"Is something wrong?" I asked, afraid to know the answer. There _had_ to be something wrong, I could sense it.  
  
"It's your mom." There was a long pause, and then, "She was shot."  
  
"No!" I screamed.  
  
"Fi, I'm so sorry... but the ambulance should be on its way... she might make it..." He was still talking, but I couldn't hear him anymore. How could this happen? Why would someone try to kill my mother? I'd already lost my father, and my brother... she was all I had left.


	3. Chapters 4-6

Chapter Four  
  
I opened the door to Katy's Family Restaurant, where a crowd of people was mulling about. Most were people who had been eating at the restaurant before the incident, but there were also police, and even reporters with cameras and notepads. A feeling of anger overcame me; it was so disgusting how they were here just for the _story_, not because they actually cared. It had been five minutes since Carey called me - where was the ambulance? And where was Carey? I looked around for him, when I noticed a girl with chin-length blond hair running toward me. She was probably a year or two older than I was.  
  
"Are you Fi?" she asked, a little breathless.  
  
"Yes," I said slowly. "Who are you?"  
  
"Jennifer," she replied. "I'm Carey's... friend." I was a little surprised, eyeing her light sweater and blue jeans. She seemed so... plain. Well, I mean, normal. I had this whole image of her built up in my imagination of a bimbo cheerleader supermodel-wannabe with long, bleached blond hair, too much makeup, and too little clothing. "You can call me Jenny," she added, with a friendly smile. Taking my hand, she said, "Come on, let's go find Carey."  
  
She led me to their booth, sliding in the seat across from Carey. I sat next to him, and he immediately pulled me close to him, wrapping his arm around me and holding me tight. It was just what I needed. No longer able to hide my sadness, I sobbed into his chest.  
  
"It's okay," he murmured, rubbing my back gently. "Everything will be all right." But he didn't sound too sure.  
  
A few minutes passed, and I managed to regain some control. I sat up, and saw that Jenny's eyes were full of sympathy. Carey's eyes were full of redness, and I'm sure mine were as well. "Who would do this?" I asked quietly. "Who would shoot my mom?"  
  
"We don't know," Jenny said softly.  
  
"Nobody saw," Carey added. "It happened so quickly."  
  
"I saw," a voice said suddenly. We all turned to look at the tall, middle-aged man standing near our table. He found his way out of the crowd and walked closer to us. "Sorry, I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. She's your mother?"  
  
I nodded. "You saw the person who shot her?"  
  
"Yeah," he said. "I saw him walk out of the men's room over there," - he gestured towards it - "take out a gun, and shoot your mother. I was sitting at that table right by the door, so I _know_ what I saw next." He shook his head in disbelief. "He just disappeared. Vanished, right before my eyes, before the bullet even made impact."  
  
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Carey and Jenny give each other looks, but I wasn't about to give up on this man just yet. He might be the only person who had any information. "What did he look like?" I asked.  
  
"Well, he had dark brown hair, and he looked about twenty or so. I couldn't see his eye color because he was wearing these dark sunglasses... and oh, there was another thing, too. A scar - right on the side of his face."  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
My head was throbbing with a sudden headache. It was all too much. I could hear the siren of the ambulance outside, letting out its shrill shriek. The noise of the crowd was growing louder, and I leaned on the table to rest my pounding head. And then, everything went silent - and black.  
  
"Fi?" It was Carey, and I slowly opened one eye, then the other. We were in a small, dark room - but it wasn't really a room. It was like the back of a truck, but it wasn't on the road.  
  
"Where are we?" I mumbled.  
  
"We're in the ambulance," Carey replied. "We just arrived at the hospital, and your mom was taken inside on a stretcher. They're coming back to get you... but I guess you're okay now."  
  
"What happened?" I asked weakly.  
  
"You fainted, a little after that man told us what he saw."  
  
I groaned, remembering the headache. And then I remembered what the man had said. "Carey, there's something I have to tell you."  
  
"Well, let's get out of here first," Carey responded, stepping out of the ambulance and onto the hospital parking lot. "Are you able to walk?"  
  
"Of course I'm able to..." I trailed off as I stumbled onto the pavement, falling into Carey's arms. "...walk," I finished, a wave of dizziness hitting me.  
  
"No, you're not," he insisted, scooping me into his arms and carrying me all the way to the waiting room. He set me down into a chair carefully, and then approached a lady behind a large desk.  
  
"I'm here with Molly Phillips' daughter, Fiona," he said. "Can we see her?"  
  
The lady peered at him over her reading glasses, and shook her head. "Not yet, son. Mrs. Phillips is in the emergency room right now. But if you wait right in those chairs over there, I'll have the doctor come out and tell you when she can have visitors."  
  
Carey walked back over to me, his shoulders slumped down. He sat in the chair next to mine and took my hand in his. "What did you want to tell me?"  
  
_That I love you,_ I answered silently. "I know who shot her," I said.  
  
"You do?" Carey asked. "You know who the man described?"  
  
"It was Rob," I said, feeling the headache on the verge of returning.  
  
"Are you sure?" Carey was the only person who I had told about Rob - I told him everything. I remembered how he had been there for me that night, holding me, letting me cry into his shoulder - just like now.  
  
I nodded.  
  
Just then a doctor came bursting into the room, and we looked at him with wide eyes. Either he was going to tell us that we could visit Mom now... or something much worse.  
  
Carey squeezed my hand more tightly as the doctor walked towards us, his expression grim. "I'm so sorry."  
  
  
Chapter Six  
  
I closed my eyes, wanting to be enveloped into the darkness. It welcomed me. I was alone here, but then again, I would be alone wherever I went. I didn't want to return to reality - the truth was too hard to bear. The truth was that I had lost my entire family, the man I loved didn't love me back, and a demon that I thought I was rid of was coming back to destroy my life.  
  
"Do you think we should wake her up?"  
  
I recognized Ned's gruff voice immediately, and sat up straight. Why was I in a bed? I looked around the room and realized that it was the guestroom of the Bells' house. Ned and Irene were standing in the doorway.  
  
"Good morning," Irene said. "Do you want some breakfast?"  
  
I wasn't hungry, but I nodded anyway. How was it morning already? Why was I here?  
  
Irene left the room and Ned came over and sat at the foot of the bed. "We decided it would be best if you'd stay with us for a while," he explained. "You can go with Carey later this afternoon to get your clothes and whatever else you'll need." He took a deep breath. "The wake is tomorrow."  
  
I nodded again, unable to make eye contact with him. Instead I gazed out the window. Why the hell was it so sunny? I didn't feel like crying anymore. I didn't even feel like speaking, to sort out my emotions. It wouldn't help anyway. I just wanted to slide back into the darkness and let it take over.  
  
I couldn't avoid it forever, though. After Carey and I brought my belongings back to the house, he had to leave for another date with Jenny. He had been _so_ nice to be over the past couple days, comforting me, keeping me company, understanding me. He knew exactly when I was ready to talk and when to just leave me alone. He knew everything. So how could he be so oblivious to the fact that I was completely in love with him?  
  
And Rob. My head hurt at the thought of him, but I had to face it: he was back. Killing my mother had been no accident. But why was he doing this to me? Who would be next? And how could I stop him?  
  
I turned on my laptop, hoping that maybe the Internet could give me some answers. Was it possible to kill a demon? And how?  
  
After much searching, something on a website caught my eye: _It is nearly impossible to kill a demon, but it has been done before. The actual process is still unclear, but may involve a supernatural force and strong love._  
  
_That's helpful,_ I thought sarcastically. "Unclear" couldn't be more accurate. And sadly, that was the best information I could find from all the different websites I went to. I was about to sign off, when I decided to check my email.  
  
I quickly skimmed over the "From" addresses when I saw the word, _unknown_. There were two emails from that person, and I opened the first one quickly.  
  
_Demons come from every side..._ the first one read. My heart was pounding - I knew who "unknown" was. The second email read, _Meet me tonight at midnight. In your front yard._


	4. Chapters 7-9

Chapter Seven  
  
I pulled my jacket closer to my body. The night air was brisk. I was standing in front of my house, and it was exactly midnight. Where was he?  
  
"Demons come from every side, in the darkness is the light," sang a voice. A second later, the sight of the master demon himself emerged into view. "Hello, Fiona," Rob greeted me, grinning. "You made it."  
  
I did _not_ want to be here. But I was afraid of what he'd do to me if I didn't show. "Why are you doing this?" I blurted out.  
  
"Doing what?" Rob asked in mock innocence.  
  
"I thought that Jack was enough. Why did you have to take my mom too?" I asked, trying to hold back the tears.  
  
"Can't a demon have a little fun?" Rob said with a smirk. "Anyway, I'm glad you brought that up. That's what we have to talk about."  
  
"Why are you doing this?" I demanded again.  
  
"You want the truth?"  
  
"Yes," I said, barely audible. But I really didn't. I just wanted him to leave me alone, to stop hurting me.  
  
"The truth is," Rob began, "I just want to make your life as miserable as possible. First I kill your brother, then I kill your mother, and next - who knows?" He paused for effect, his face breaking into a grin. "Maybe... Carey?"  
  
"No," I said, hardly able to breathe. Not Carey. He just _couldn't_. "Please, Rob. I - I love him."  
  
Rob rolled his eyes. "Aren't you seeing the pattern? I'm a demon, Carey's someone you love, and I kill the people you love. Honestly, Fiona, I thought you'd catch on by now."  
  
"You've hurt me enough already," I said softly.  
  
"Yeah, well, I can't kill _you_, since your stupid brother gave you his necklace. What an idiot he was, letting himself die like that. And now angels protect _you_, which is exactly what I didn't want to happen. So I figure that if I kill everyone around you, eventually you'll get so depressed that you'll want to commit suicide or something. Good idea, huh?" He laughed.  
  
"Maybe we can work out some sort of a deal," I said suddenly.  
  
"Like what?" Rob asked.  
  
"Um... I don't know yet," I lied. Rob let out an exaggerated sigh. "Can you meet me here tomorrow night? At midnight?"  
  
"I guess so," Rob agreed, sounding impatient with me. "See you tomorrow, Fiona," he said, and then disappeared. I turned around and headed back to the Bells' house. I knew what I had to do.  
  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
It was 11:50 the next night, and I crept soundlessly into Carey's bedroom. I could hear him breathing softly, and I knew he was asleep. He had been out with Jenny most of the day, and this was my chance to say goodbye.  
  
_This is love calling earth  
Do you know how much it hurts?  
I didn't die overnight  
In the wind I had candlelight  
I'm controlled by my fear  
All the voices in my head  
That I can hear_  
  
I kneeled down next to his bed, just watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful - I couldn't believe that this was the last time I'd ever have the chance to see him. He would never know how much I loved him. He would never know how much it hurt me when I saw him with Jenny.  
  
_Please don't hurt me_  
  
I let my finger gently brush his cheek, wondering if he'd find it in his heart to forgive me for what I was about to do.  
  
_How do I learn  
To give love and be loved in return  
If this is heaven I'm falling  
I'd rather jump and run away  
Then see it burn  
I feel I could die  
Before I sleep I kiss your cheek  
And say goodbye_  
  
I leaned over him and kissed his cheek lightly. "Goodbye, Carey," I whispered. I was about to go to sleep - forever.  
  
_I'm so sorry  
Please don't hurt me_  
  
"I'm so sorry" seemed like the phrase of the week. I guess it was Carey's turn to hear it now.  
  
_This is love calling earth  
Do you know how much it hurts?  
I didn't die overnight  
In the wind I had candlelight_  
  
At least he'd still have Jennifer. And I would have my family again. And we'd all be safe. But it still pained me to know that we could never be together.  
  
_I'm controlled by my fear  
And all the voices in my head  
That I can hear_  
  
I guess in a way, I was too scared. I was terrified of Rob. It was easier to just give up - to give in.  
  
_I'm so sorry  
Please don't hurt me_  
  
I hoped that Carey would know that I was doing this for him. I loved him too much. I didn't want him to hate me.  
  
_If you could see me through my mother's eyes  
Only then would you begin to realize  
All the places I have ever been  
Have scared me half to death or somewhere in-between_  
  
My hand flew to my neck suddenly, feeling for the chain. _The necklace._ This wouldn't work if I still had it on. I took it off, holding it in my hand. It wouldn't be right to leave Carey without a reminder of me, so, being careful not to wake him, I leaned over him and clasped the necklace around his neck. Now he would be protected.  
  
_I'm so sorry  
Please..._  
  
  
Chapter Nine  
  
"Took you long enough."  
  
It was Rob, already standing in my front yard with his hands folded across his chest. "Sorry," I said. "I had to... say goodbye."  
  
"Uh-huh," Rob replied, uninterested. "So what's this deal you want?"  
  
"You can take me now," I said.  
  
Rob looked confused. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Kill me," I responded. "Let me die. Let me join the rest of my family, so you can leave my friends alone."  
  
"Well, I'm impressed," Rob commented. "But I can't kill you, as much as I'd like to. The necklace, remember?"  
  
"I'm not wearing it," I stated simply.  
  
He eyed my neckline quizzically, and then smiled. He rubbed his hands together, and then said, "Well, let's get this over with."  
  
"Fi!" a voice called. "Fi, stop!"  
  
I spun around, to see Carey running towards me. "Go home, Carey," I said, trying not to cry. "Please."  
  
"No, really, it's fine," Rob interrupted. "The more the merrier," he smirked.  
  
Carey glanced at Rob. "Is that...?" he asked, turning back to me.  
  
"Yes," I said quickly.  
  
"Fi, what are you doing? I woke up to see you leaving my room, and then I felt this around my neck." He held out his hand, his fingers grasping the chain of the necklace.  
  
"Damn," I heard Rob say under his breath.  
  
"You can't be here," I told Carey. "It's time for me... to go." I held my breath.  
  
"_What?_" Carey practically exploded. "You can't leave me! I need you, Fiona. You're everything to me." He paused, swallowing hard. "I love you."  
  
_He loves me?_ I couldn't believe my ears. _Carey loves me! Oh God, what the hell am I doing then?_  
  
"I think I'm going to be sick," Rob moaned. Then he took a step closer to me threateningly. "Say goodbye..." he taunted.  
  
"No!" I screamed, grabbing the chain of the necklace while Carey still held the other end. And then, something similar to a lightning bolt erupted from the gold angel and hit Rob. There was a flash of brilliant light momentarily, and when it faded, Rob was gone.  
  
Carey was the first to speak. "Did we... kill him?"  
  
_It may involve a supernatural force and strong love..._ "I think so," I responded, looking up into his eyes. Carey took the necklace in his hands and clasped it around my neck. "I love you too," I added. "I always have."  
  
Carey smiled, a small one at first, and then it broke into a wide grin. He wrapped his arm around me as we walked back to his house. "Don't ever leave me," he said.  
  
"I won't."  
  
  


THE END


End file.
